Joyless Joy

The first touch of blade on skin Beautiful A stabbing pain Thought of an impossible task The visual of the blood The slice The stinging increasing Enough to push forward Through that initial hesitancy To continue… Good girl Good job Just slice a little deeper That’s it You know you can It hurts Tough shit … Continue reading Joyless Joy

Stressed

I am beyond stressed. I feel like I am suffocating. Not quite. Then I would not be stressed anymore. I take intermittent deep breaths, trying to pull relaxation, even a small amount, into my soul. It doesn’t work. I keep trying. I have kept it together. Since things fell apart for me and I crawled … Continue reading Stressed

New Chapter

Another chapter of my life is about to begin. I walk away from a chapter that has been closing for three years. Severe illness, job loss, and the end of a marriage that never should have been, have brought me here. After eight years as a homeowner, my house went under-contract after three days on … Continue reading New Chapter

I am Nothing

A lot of my posts these days about my ability to breathe. More like my inability. Well here I go again. I don’t know what to do and I want to cry. This is a not-often, but all too familiar feeling. I am busy and driven crazy by the normal mom things: fighting kids; kids … Continue reading I am Nothing

Na Coillte

An bhfuil tú ag iarraidh teacht liom? Táim ag dul go dtí áit aisteach. Níl fhios agam cá bhfuil sé nó cad atá ann. Ní raibh mé ann roimh. Chuala mé guthanna nuair a raibh mé i mo chodladh. Bhí aghaidheanna i mo meabhair. Ní fhéadfainn iad follasach. An bhfuil tú liom? Ní féidir liom … Continue reading Na Coillte