I look at pictures of my grandparents. They were all alive when I was born. They died when I was five, sense, ten, and sixteen. My grandfathers proceeded my grandmothers. I have a few hazy memories of the men. A little more of my material grandmother. I truly remember my paternal grandmother. I don't miss … Continue reading Ashes to Ashes..
[I really want to post a picture of Adam here, but that's just a tad stalkery] I am so frustrated. I went on a date (ish) yesterday. How can you go on a date-ish? Well I did. Let's call the gentleman in question Adam. His name begins with 'A' but he's Indian. So his name … Continue reading Adam
* Below is transcribed from voice notes I recorded on the stroke of midnight New Year's 2018/2019. As such my grammar, spelling, and punctuation is even worse than usual. It's a series of disjointed thoughts. As such, "Reader Beware" It is just after midnight. It is January 1, 2019. I am lying in my bed. … Continue reading Happy New Year
Oh my God. I can't believe it. I might actually love him. Is that possible? I mean I think I do. This was not supposed to happen. We are casual. Together for fun. That's all it is supposed to be. Yes, we get on very well together. Isn't that normal though? I mean we wouldn't … Continue reading In This Day and Age
I woke up some minutes ago. I'm sure how many minutes ago. It is difficult, impossible, to measure the passage of time. It is pitch black.; I am unable to see anything. I wrap my right hand around my left wrist. It is gone. The watch Samuel gave me for my birthday two years ago. … Continue reading Dead on Arrival
Smoke, smog, and dirt cloy at my trachea. My esophagus bulges and collapses. I try to swallow down the bulge. Nothing happens.. I can still breathe. It is difficult yet quantifiable. I can feel the pain, yet it is not pain. I am filled up with this. I fear both things may remain forever. My … Continue reading Hyperaware of Nothing
I remember. Do you? I don't remember every little detail. How about you? Did it really happen? It seems like it was so long ago. It seems like it happened yesterday. Was it real? Did that really happen? Do I have a right to these feelings when no one I know was hurt? Died. Scarred. … Continue reading In Memorium 2,996