How should I write this? It seems I should know already, but I don't. It is hard for me to remember things. I suppose I'll remember this. No. I won't remember. When I open my tablet to write something else, this will be visible in my drafts. Then I will remember. No. As I said. … Continue reading Falling into Oblivion
Croatia -v- France
Here we are. The eve of the final of Russia 2018. Croatia and France will meet in Luzhniki Stadium, in Moscow, at 18:00 local time, 16:00 Irish time, and 10:00 Chicago time. The World Cup Final. The culmination of years of qualifiers, play-offs, training, and the competition itself. There's not a huge level of surprise … Continue reading Croatia -v- France
Fucking up again, and again, and again…
Here we are again. It never ends. No. I never end. I am in self-destruct mode again. I'm in a destroy everything and everyone around me mode. I am hurting myself, killing myself. More importantly I am hurting the most important people in the world to me - my children. I can see it from … Continue reading Fucking up again, and again, and again…
Leaving Normal
Sometimes I can pretend I'm 'normal'. Sometimes I almost forget I'm not. I have a few minutes of blissful ignorance. When the temperature is just right. Maybe 86F. I'm on the back deck. The kids are playing in the yard. They're not fighting. My husband is playing with them. And I forget. I forget about … Continue reading Leaving Normal
Hate
I hate me. I hate me. I hate me. I don't think I've said that or thought it for a while. Countless professionals have implied I must be thinking or feeling it in one way or another. I said no way. I hate how I am feeling, not who I am. It just came out … Continue reading Hate
Suicide
"Holding on So much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down If I just let go, I'd be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy?" - Heavy by Linkin Park "And I'm sorry, but this is my fate Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to … Continue reading Suicide
On Separating Families
"The Divided States of Embarrassment" - White America by Eminem There seems to be some debate as to what is happening at the southern border of the country I call home, The United States of America. I'm pretty sure the 'debate' is being spun by the right wing group or groups who want to whitewash … Continue reading On Separating Families
