Homeless man drinking coffee I am in Starbucks. I am sitting on my own. It is relatively busy. There are no fully free tables. A homeless man came in a while ago. He got his coffee and sat at the same table as me. Almost instantly I noticed the smell that most homeless people carry. … Continue reading My Homeless Neighbor
Ashes to Ashes..
I look at pictures of my grandparents. They were all alive when I was born. They died when I was five, sense, ten, and sixteen. My grandfathers proceeded my grandmothers. I have a few hazy memories of the men. A little more of my material grandmother. I truly remember my paternal grandmother. I don't miss … Continue reading Ashes to Ashes..
Not Yet. Not Ever.
How the fuck did we get here? Yesterday tears of joy. Fear of new life. Such responsibility. So easy. Time marches. First time for everything. First first times. Newness every day. Personality unfolding. All my fault? My brittle, stupid genes? If not, then who, why, where, how... The only question that matters is when. The … Continue reading Not Yet. Not Ever.
Adam
[I really want to post a picture of Adam here, but that's just a tad stalkery] I am so frustrated. I went on a date (ish) yesterday. How can you go on a date-ish? Well I did. Let's call the gentleman in question Adam. His name begins with 'A' but he's Indian. So his name … Continue reading Adam
Depression, Envelop Me…
I wish I was depressed. Dirty, dark, dreary depression. It is so delicious. So tempting. So forgiving. It envelops. But I am well. Improved just enough so that I don't sink into that beautiful state. Not well enough to fully function in the world. My paramour gives me permission. To not be. To sleep. To … Continue reading Depression, Envelop Me…
Happy New Year
* Below is transcribed from voice notes I recorded on the stroke of midnight New Year's 2018/2019. As such my grammar, spelling, and punctuation is even worse than usual. It's a series of disjointed thoughts. As such, "Reader Beware" It is just after midnight. It is January 1, 2019. I am lying in my bed. … Continue reading Happy New Year
In This Day and Age
Oh my God. I can't believe it. I might actually love him. Is that possible? I mean I think I do. This was not supposed to happen. We are casual. Together for fun. That's all it is supposed to be. Yes, we get on very well together. Isn't that normal though? I mean we wouldn't … Continue reading In This Day and Age
