It visited today. I suppose it couldn't stay away. I wasn't surprised. I knew what it was in mere seconds. That lovely feeling that will soon be satisfied. This time I need to make sure it won't be. Easy - right? I confessed immediately. Might this stop what can seem like an out of control … Continue reading Craving 6… 7… 8…
On Ending…
How will it end? This journey I'm on. So many variables. So many influences. So many people in my life. Close and distant. What is this journey? Why is it? Where is it going? What's the what? How's the how? Such a mystery. Does the journey mean life? Does it mean what's going on now? … Continue reading On Ending…
That’s Depression
Do you know what happened the other day? I went to the supermarket. I parked in the lot. I opened my door. I swung my legs out. And then I sat there. Sat in the driver's seat. Legs out, body in. I was barely aware of my situation most of the time. The rest of … Continue reading That’s Depression
Lonely
It's fucking gone. I want to write. About something. About anything. I can't. Over several weeks - I can't. Please help. Give it back. I sit in Starbucks crying. Crying for it. I need it. It's all I have. It's how I get out of my brain. Coffee and tablets assisting. Life has been falling … Continue reading Lonely
In and Out Goes the Needle
An hour ago I watched as a needle went into my vein, sliding in effortlessly, a slight sting when it broke the skin. It went nearly unnoticed. During many years of medical treatment I have had hundred of blood draws but also injections, shots. I am unsure if Americans use the word injection and that … Continue reading In and Out Goes the Needle
Play With Me
She is on her phone again. Talking, listening to music, playing on apps. Not playing with me. Not talking to me. Not holding me. I'm twelve years old. I'm her only child. I don't have a dad. Well that's not true. I go to stay in his house one night every two weeks. He's usually … Continue reading Play With Me
Anger, Frustration and Fear
I am so angry right now. People who I thought cared about me have acted in manners that show the opposite. I am trying to rise above it. I am finding it unbelievably difficult. I have asked many people for their opinions on these issues. Everyone has agreed that the people have acted selfishly and … Continue reading Anger, Frustration and Fear
