I woke up some minutes ago. I'm sure how many minutes ago. It is difficult, impossible, to measure the passage of time. It is pitch black.; I am unable to see anything. I wrap my right hand around my left wrist. It is gone. The watch Samuel gave me for my birthday two years ago. … Continue reading Dead on Arrival
Smoke, smog, and dirt cloy at my trachea. My esophagus bulges and collapses. I try to swallow down the bulge. Nothing happens.. I can still breathe. It is difficult yet quantifiable. I can feel the pain, yet it is not pain. I am filled up with this. I fear both things may remain forever. My … Continue reading Hyperaware of Nothing
I remember. Do you? I don't remember every little detail. How about you? Did it really happen? It seems like it was so long ago. It seems like it happened yesterday. Was it real? Did that really happen? Do I have a right to these feelings when no one I know was hurt? Died. Scarred. … Continue reading In Memorium 2,996
Deep in my brain I feel my pulse. Yet it beats at a different speed than my heart. Not my pulse I suppose - my brain's pulse. It seems to work independent of the rest of me. Maybe all my body parts work seperately. They are interconnected in some way. Does the pulsating brain control … Continue reading Brain, Brain Go Away…
Christmas is coming and I'm already fat. Don't give me money. I ain't got no fucking hat. If you haven't got $40k, then 20 bucks will do. If you haven't got a score, then you're fucked like me too.
My arms are beuatiful. The only major parts of my body mostly unscathed by the piling on of pounds from my battle against my brain. My thighs, arse, stomach, and chins (all four of them) are barely recognizable. My arms thankfully only picked up a little jiggle. Who thought a little jiggle would be something … Continue reading Lámhana
It visited today. I suppose it couldn't stay away. I wasn't surprised. I knew what it was in mere seconds. That lovely feeling that will soon be satisfied. This time I need to make sure it won't be. Easy - right? I confessed immediately. Might this stop what can seem like an out of control … Continue reading Craving 6… 7… 8…