I’m nervous and excited.
I want to get this job.
I am so scared to work again.
It’s been two years.
I remember when I was twenty nine,
I went back to work after eighteen months.
Eighteen months earlier I had been working six days per week,
Often with a couple of doubles thrown in there.

The first few weeks of my new twenty nine year old job,
Had me floored.
Exhasted.
I had a one year old at the time.
Tiring work in itself.
Now I have three: 6, 10, 12.
Easier.
So much harder.

I cannot imagine how brutally tired I will feel.
Of course once I am settled in my new life,
I will function just fine.
There will be the impossible sick kids’ days’ off.
Difficult to navigate for any parent.
Impossible for those in new jobs.
And with three they like not to get sick all together.
They pass it between themselves so you have days, sometimes more,
Where at least one kid is home sick.
How do we navigate that?
“Sorry John. I know today is only my third day,
but I’ll need a week off for snotty puking kids.
Please don’t fire me.”

I don’t know how any of us parents stay employed.
I guess the parents switch off parent duty.
Presumably both did not start new jobs at the same time.
My husband has been in his job thirteen years.
He is well respected and kicks ass at this job.
Yay. He won’t be fired.
Boo. He won’t get paid.
Hourly pay is a bitch like that.
No matter how much that pay is.

If we truly want to support the next generation,
And therefore their parents,
Shouldn’t we support them in the workplace.
Of course it is parents’ choice to have children.
Of course there are arguments on both sides.
Why should parents have more sick/family time?
Why should parentless folk have less days?
Because parents need them.
Yes. It is socialism.
You know what? Socialism is not inherently evil.
It is taking care of those who need it more.

My dad and I haven’t always seen eye to eye.
There are two outlooks in which I share his views.
When I was alone, my husband stuck in a foreign land,
He helped us get through financially.
Why should my siblings not get the same amount of money?
Why should they ‘suffer’?
Because I was the one who needed it.
If a child has cancer.
Has thousands of dollars in hospital bills,
Should the parents spend the same on all their children?
Of course it’s an extreme example.
The point is parents give to the child that needs it most.
The other thing I agree with my father on is his view on babies.
So many people complain about babies crying on airplanes.
Why should I, as a childless person, have to put up with your child crying?
You know why?
Because the child is a human.
Crying is normal for babies.
You cried as a child.
They are the future.
Having children is perfectly normal.
I’m not saying not having children isn’t normal.
I am saying that children are the next generation.
It is in humans’ makeup (as with all animals) to reproduce.
Babies are normal, living, breathing people.
They deserve to be treated as such.

My point may seem obtuse.
It goes back to helping parents succeed in raising the next generation.
Like any other job seeker, childless or a parent,
I am nervous for tomorrow.
The differences between parents and non-parents is…
The parents’ delight with a job offer,
Often turns to despair and fear.
And it doesn’t end
Until their youngest is fourteen and can stay home alone while ill.
My oldest will then be twenty.
I will have been in the job market for nineteen years with kids.
That’s a lot of worry!

Wish me luck.
For my interview.
And for my neverending worry until my baby is fourteen.
Thankfully that only eight years away.
What The Fuck????

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