I don’t know what to write today. That’s very frustrating. I usually know exactly what I want to write. No. That’s not exactly true. I usually know exactly wha tI want to write about. It may not end up coming out how I had hoped. I may morph several times over the course of the prose. My grammar may be awful. My ideas discombobulated, but my need will come, it will be quashed. I will be somewhat satisfied, if not completely. Today I don’t know what I want to come out.
Early I thought I wanted. I haven”t written poetry for sometime. Poetry is a rarity for me. It came into my head this morning and wouldn’t leave. I can’t remember if I had an idea, or several ideas at to what I would write my poem(s) about, but the yearning was there. The knowledge that I had to write one or more was there. It is gone. Or maybe not. I feel a small inkling in the recesses of my brain. Something tickling my dendrites. It is still there after all. The idea is gone though. I don’t know if will come back. So I instead I am writing about writing. Hoping that something will eventually come to to me. Or hoping that this itself will be enough to quench my need.
Let’s veer off along tangent number one, shall we? I’m in Starbucks… Wow. I do seem to write most of my prose there. I’m on Michigan Avenue, just North of Madison. For those of you who live here, you’ll know that Madison is 0 N\S.
My therapist is at 8 S. Michigan. I have an appointment with him at 16:00. It is 14:36. Oh. Yeah. Screw all you American non-24 hour clock people. I always use it. I try to use the ridiculous 12-hour system here when I’m here. It was such a joy to be in Italy and use it there. I’ve decided you can figure it out. If doctors and the Army can figure it out, then you can too. Also roundabouts. If my husband can pick it up in a day, with only one near-crash (haha), then so should you. Build them, and use them. They work way better then crossroads.
Okay. Rant over. There are so many things this country does better than many countries I’ve been in. There are many it doesn’t. That is only to be expected. No country is going to be the best in the world at everything. Except Ireland of course. It’s amazing – blah blah. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. As an emigrant who travelled a reasonable amount as a kid, I learned pretty quickly what I stated above. Everyone seems to think their country is the best. You know what. They’re all wrong! Pure and simple. Even the ‘worst’ countries, those in the middle of horrendous wars, likely have some redeeming factors, characteristics of their peoples that other countries don’t have, or something else. Shit I don’t know how many tangents I just covered.
It’s been a cool couple of days in Chicago. In Rome it was 34C almost every day (85F – when the fuck are you guys going to convert to Celsius? – grrr). In Salice Terme it was cooler – maybe 26C (79F). Yesterday we had a high of 67F and today it’s 68F. That’s shit for early June in Chicago. Anyway. Italy was beautiful weather-wise. I’m not used to this cold. I only use a light cardigan one evening. I wish I’d brought a big hoodie today, but I just have a t-shirt on. I’m cold. I don’t like it. I don’t know which is worse. America’s obsession with air condition or Europe’s lack of air conditioning. It wasn’t that warm while we were there. The buildings were designed to keep them cool. All stone, shutter that shaded apartments, but allowed for air flow. We were never quite cool enough, but never boiling or anything.
Tangent number x+y. I’m listening to Rihanna’s Diamonds. I’m not the biggest fan of the lady, but I’m mad for this song. I can’t help but want to burst into song when I hear this. Now I’m sure the rest of the Starbucks customers wouldn’t be too happy if I did this – especially the two on either side of me. My voice wouldn’t be the greatest at the best of times. Right now my voice is acting up. I think it’s my paralyzed vocal chord acting up again. Either way. I won’t be hitting Number One on the charts any time soon! Is there such a thing as bottom of the charts? Like to have released a song but either sold zero copies or like one or something? That could be a goal I suppose. God loves a trier.
See, rambling writing like this can be cathartic. It takes up some time. It gives me little giggles here and there. It makes me observe my surroundings. It makes me wonder what the people round me are doing, thinking, worrying about, thinking about what I’m doing. There’s a guy sitting on the patio outside. He’s reading a book.
A flipping book. In 2018. What the fuck is that about? Can’t he be like everyone else and be on his laptop or his phone? Bleedin’ freak! Maybe we could do the whole Fahrenheit 451 thing and burn all the books? That’d show them all. Sadly I’m a huge book fan. I did the whole kindle thing. I think its great and has it’s purpose, especially if your traveling or in hospital etc, but there’s nothing better than a real soft-cover (paperback for us Paddies) book in hand. I am in love with them. Like them all. I suppose that makes me a book slut. Can one be a book slut?
So it’s June 6th. The last day to file taxes for the previous year is April 15th. This year it was April 17th because of the day the 15th fell. We still have not filed our taxes. We have not received our W-2 from my Long Term Disability Insurance Provider. I am finally on the phone to them as I type. Look at me. I so rock. It only took me what? Seven weeks? Seriously awesome. Yay. We’ll have to pay a penalty now. A bigger penalty that is. I’ve been transferred once, and now I’m on hold being transferred for the second time. I’m always scared that I’ll get to the end and the call will be dropped, or some other crap will happen. A few weeks ago I was on the phone to one of the credit card companies. I was passed form Billy to Jack as they say. The call was dropped. By the time I got through again, it was outside their business hours. Talk about being pissed hours. It probably wasn’t Friday, but for dramatic effect let’s pretend it was! On a Friday! Can you believe it! Okay. Yay. She’s sending it out!
So it’s the 7th now. My WiFi on my iPad wouldn’t work yesterday for some reason yesterday for some reason. Me waiting in Starbucks on Michigan all that time turned out to be a ridiculous waste. My appointment was at 15:00 not 16:00. I went to the office at 15:45 and called my therapist. He came out and told me they’d have to charge me the $155 no-show charge – yippee. And there I was missing my second appointment with it. I’m a gobshite. Anyway. All done. At least I wrote yesterday.