Memory. What helps us build relationships as we grow to love others, based on interactions we’ve had with each other. How we hold down jobs as we gain experience, building upon existing knowledge. Helps us find our way home. And on and on…

What if we had no memory? Would we know where to get food? Remember how to use the bathroom? Take medications? Remember we have children? That they are ours if we see them? Remember we love them?

My memory seems to be failing me. More and more everyday? One of my children is on three medications. Two are restricted substances, so need a physical prescription instead of an electronic one. Our pediatrician gives us three months’ prescriptions at a time. We bring one to the pharmacy each month. My husband assured me, that he gave me this month’s a couple of weeks ago. I have absolutely no recollection of this, and cannot find them. Our child has two days’ pills left. She needs them to function.

My husband mentioned today, that I was bringing the kids to school tomorrow. Usually the nanny does it. He said the nanny and I agreed on it last week. Once again – no memory.

Last week I mentioned I had missed a block of time in my memory completely. In Walgreens I had been downstairs one second, and in line on the second floor the next. It had happened in Jewel a couple of months ago too. In one aisle, then in another without knowing how I’d gotten there.

Apart from being scary, and extremely frustrating, it makes me wonder the cause. When my depression was at its worst, I had huge memory issues. When I received ECT (Electro Convulsive Treatment), I basically lost two-three months. No knowledge of people I had known for several weeks.

Is this my depression? My medications? Or am the grand prize winner of early-onset Alzheimer’s? Wouldn’t that be great craic altogether. So I guess for now, I just report all the issues to my psychiatrist and see what happens next. I told him about the Walgreens incident last week, and he said it is cause for concern. Fun times.

Later Gator. Hope I remember you!

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