I just forgot something, but I don’t quite know what.
Is that kind of normal? I’m pretty sure it’s not.
I was down below, then suddenly upstrairs,
Don’t know how, don’t know why, standing up are my hairs.
Did I take the elevator, I’m pretty sure not?
I don’t have a clue, up – no idea how I got.
This happened once before, when I was in a store,
Wanting wine, wanting weapons, I wrestled to my core.
At first I didn’t care this time, it didn’t bother me,
But that started to change, somewhat gradually.
Because my head is ill, every symptom, ever sign,
Is a chance of impending doom, of something not benign.
I see my doc today, in just over an hour,
Of course I’ll let him know, my brain he will scour.
I hope he says its normal, that I am A-Okay.
I hope there’s no significance, to this very day.
What if it is weird, and I am now a freak?
I thought my mind was bad, but of this I cannot speak.
Is it like a blackout? Am I a danger to,
My kids, strangers, me? What ever will I do?
Will I be locked up? With no escape in sight?
Will anybody care? Will they maybe give a shite?
This is really scary, my heart is beating fast.
Is my mental illness, beating me at last?
It’s mocking me, “hey dumbass, what would you know?”
“You’re dumb, and you’re ill, to the looney bin you go.”
My doubt begins to fester, maybe he has won.
I am alone with just my thoughts, and he and them are one.
How can you win, if your mind is your foe?
How to co-exist, when there’s nowhere else to go?
You live in there together, forever and a day.
You and he eternal, and he will have his way.
But sometimes your mind is quiet, not shouting back at you.
He is silent, you’re in control, and you feel brand new.
When times are tough, my lovely, please remember this,
Things can get much better, now give your mom a kiss.